Barely Walking

So I went to the gym again today, on a sort-of empty stomach.  I had to cut my usual lunch of the entire plate of drunken noodle with chicken in half after finding out how many calories there are in a cup of drunken noodles, and I was sort of fine until about 5pm when I had to leave for the gym.  But I didn't eat anything else, and I wasn't really famished so all was well.

I usually start my run at 5mph for about a mile before doing something else, and that's what I did today.  But as I was doing that, I felt like I wasn't really running.  I was more like... speed walking.  And I didn't feel tired like I usually would after about 7 minutes.  I barely had to deepen my breath after I finished the first mile.

And although this was kind of cool, I wasn't really sure what kind of improvement this would count as.  Muscle strength? Stamina? Or just finding a new and better technique to run? As I increased the speed for the next mile I was out of breath for the fastest minute or so, and stopped when I got to about a 5K.

And I felt really good.  Sweaty and slightly out of breath, sure, but my foot wasn't hurting and I didn't stress my body too much with it.  It was just strange.  I mean, it doesn't mean that I'm all of a sudden a very fast walker, and if I walk like the way I did on the treadmill I would look very silly, but I really don't know what I did differently of where I have improved to achieve that.  Or did I just learn to take shorter steps and not bounce as much?  I don't know.

Today the gym was relatively empty.  I went around the same time as I did on Tuesday, but on Tuesday the gym was packed and there was no unoccupied treadmill at all.  I think finals week is approaching for the undergrads and that might explain it a little bit.  Also it was so warm and sunny out I passed at least half a dozen runners and a equal number of cyclists, so maybe everyone was working out outside.  Either way it was very nice not to feel crowded and claustrophobic. And the fitness room is air conditioned, so what's not to like?

I really think all of my strength improvement is due to my HIIT class, but the class will likely not be offered in the summer, and plus I've gotten to the point in the term where I just become very afraid of the class.  Afraid of the tiredness and out-of-breath-ness, even though I know it's good for me in the end.  I've purchased an arm band for my iPhone and wireless sports headphones so I could maybe do some weight lifting or something in the future on my own without having to worry about where to put my phone if I will have to do with music/podcast-less.  I will never achieve the level of fitness as i do in my class, but any muscle building is better than none at all right?

That extra scoop of coal

Had a really good run today, though it was a struggle getting there.  By 6pm or so today I was suddenly famished, and desperately wanted crispy chicken pad thai for dinner.  So before I left work today I sat and debated with myself for a long time as to what to do.  In the end I decided to go to the gym, run my 5K, and have thai takeout as a reward afterwards to balance out the calorie intake/output.

I was originally going to just run 25 minutes non-stop, and then do a 4-minute run/1-minute walk thing until I get to 40 minutes, which usually equates a 5K more or less.  But luckily, I caught half an episode of Castle that just happened to be playing on the treadmill I picked.  It was a season finale, during which Beckett was fighting some bad guy on the rooftop of a building that ended with the bad guy getting away and left Beckett hanging by the edge of the building and had to be saved by Ryan.  The actual fighting part happened about 20 minutes into my run, and even though I kind of knew what happened, having seen the episode before, I was nonetheless engrossed in the plot and I almost jilted when Beckett was ambushed at one point.  The episode cut to commercial right after Beckett rolled to the edge of the building and was hanging by her fingers, and I could feel my heart pumping faster because of the suspense.

And that's when it happened.  Just minutes before I started to breathe really heavily and audibly as I usually do around minute 20 and had to really put an effort and focus on my breathing and running, but as I watched the show and I got excited by the plot I found myself breathing normally again, as in, no loud, forceful breaths to artificially pump my heart faster to accommodate the demand of my body.  Watching the show seemed to give me an extra shot of adrenaline without me having to do any extra work.  The effect was not long lasting though, half way through the commercial break I found myself having to breathe really hard again.  I managed to keep running until I did 31 minutes, and ended up running the fastest mile, km, and 5K according to my Nike, earning a pre-recorded congratulatory message from Paula Radcliffe, which was kinda nice.  The data is false, by the way.  Nike has a tendency of overestimating my distance and I don't always recalibrate afterwards.  So now I have a 32-minute 5K record that's not real that I will have to beat later on.  Oh well, none of that really matters that much.

But that kind of got me thinking.  I used to be really afraid of watching anything suspenseful while running on the treadmill because I didn't want the plot of the show interfere with my breathing.  But now it seems that having my heart beat faster is actually a good thing and I might need to do it more often.  I also found that during the first 10 minutes or so I really need to concentrate on whatever I'm listening to keep myself from being bored, but this distraction is less necessary beyond the 10-minute mark, as running then requires more conscious effort.  Now it seems that around 20-minutes I need something exciting again to give my heart an extra push.  I'm not sure this is completely good for me, as people usually talk about increasing their lung capacity instead of heart rate when exercise, but before the capacity of my lungs are properly expanded I'll have to settle with faster heart pumping.

Afterwards as I was walking home I asked myself if I still wanted pad thai, and as usual my appetite gets curbed after exercising and my desire for thai food and fried chicken was not as intense as before.  But I still like the idea of very savory food and I couldn't think of any good alternative that I could make at home that would be comparable.  I set my mind on the salty ramen noodle in the end, as I was feeling for something soup-y, but I still could not abandon the idea of pad thai.  I literally was at a crossroad, having one way leading home and the other leading to the thai restaurant.  I ended up sitting on a very cold bench and played 2048 for 3 minutes before my butt got really cold and I just told myself to go home and have ramen and save the $13 I didn't really feel like spending anyway.  In the end it was a very successful day with eating, exercising, and money spending.

I've also start to take more walks.  On Monday I walked around the nearby pond twice (roughly 2 miles) because I didn't want to go running but I felt the need to exercise.  Today I walked around the pond once, since I really need the time to think about the outline of a review I needed to write and I was too full from lunch to sit in front of my desk comfortably.  I still haven't come up with a good outline but I did stop feeling bloated.  As spring hesitantly approaches there are more runners coming out.  On my walk today I saw 2 guys and a girls jogging (separately), and a group of young kids doing some sort of track workout.  I started mile 2 and all of a sudden decided that I didn't want to walk anymore but would like to go back and start making a tentative outline and assemble a reading list, so I literally stopped abruptly, turned around, and walked back to my office.  As I turned around I saw the group of young kids running their third and they must have thought that I was most weird.  Oh well.

Random Thoughts

Running Documentaries

By sheer accident I started to watch documentaries on marathons or people running marathons. I saw one on the Barkley Marathon, one on Desert Series Grand Slam, one on Eddie Izzard, and one on Dean Karnazes. One of the things I learned is that there are a lot of bad documentaries out there about running and marathons.  Some of the ones I started to watch were really boring even though they are on very interesting events like the London Marathon or some other ultra event, so you really need to wade through a whole bunch to get the gems, especially if you are fishing on Youtube.

But of the ones I did finish I was inspired by all of them.  Like how humble Dean Karnazes is.  I first read about him in Born to Run, and for some reason he came off as charismatic but arrogant so I didn't have a good impression of him.  And I think this is completely untrue.  I've acquired a few of his books now and at some point I'll get around to reading them all.

I was more amazed by Eddie Izzard I think.  At 47, this transvestite comedian who had no previous running experience decided to run a marathon a day, 6 days a week, until he goes around the entire Great Britain, for Sports Relief.  His marathons averaged about 10 hours each but he still did it and it looked absolutely miserable but entirely amazing.  He essentially did it by sheer will power and stubbornness.  I think he will have lifelong injuries from this experience, but I can't deny it was just a great feat no matter how you look at it.  I was more amazed, and sometimes angered, by how unprepared he was, and how little he seemed to know or care.  The support team he assembled was okay at best.  The trainer was annoying and not very helpful, and he spent more time in the documentary talking to a camera in sit-down interviews than he was actually by Eddie's side, and somehow he's the trainer, of someone trying to do an impossible feat with no experience.  In the middle they brought in some random nutritionist who gave bland and very crappy advice.  Eddie did the whole thing while being accompanied by his own ice cream van that went around giving out free ice cream to people for donations, and he essentially snacked on ice cream and candy bars and sometimes beer through the whole thing.  And he did the most irresponsible things like trying to do a sub-4 marathon after taking a day off for some pretty bad toe injury, or taking really long detours and refusing to listen to his therapist until he was in serious danger of having to discontinue the runs.  But it's Eddie Izzard, and he ran a marathon a day, 6 days a week, around Great Britain.  And I was inspired.

Almost Two Years

It's been almost two years since I started running.  I started late in March of 2014 for a number of reasons that just happened to occur all at the same time, and I've been running on a off for two years since. I still consider myself a beginner runner, since I don't think I make much progress at all since I started.  I didn't lose a significant amount of weight, I've only done a 5K so far and cannot run faster or longer than when I first started, and I'm not sure how much better as a person I've become since I started.  The only consolation I could give myself is that, just imagine how much more weight I would've gained if I hadn't run.  It's true that I've not gained much weight since I started so I guess that's something.

Advice? What Advice?

Over the two years I've done a lot of reading about running.  I've had a Runner's World subscription for almost as long as I had this blog, and I read books about running, watched documentaries, perused  blogs written by fellow runners, and read endless articles.  I've downloaded marathon training calendars, saved posts about post-run stretches and core-strengthening exercises, listened to talks about running gears, tech or otherwise, and managed to get a signed photo of Shalane Flanagan and had a picture taken with her.  I know a lot of stuff, and I've been reading long enough to have some of the basic stuff repeated over and over again.

And there are a number of things that on paper I theoretically should abide by.  Things like you have to do tempo runs to increase your speed.  You have to vary your workout.  That I need a certain kind of shoes given my build and my feet.

Some of the things I read were very helpful.  I'm happy with my running posture.  And with all my yoga and pilate exercise I've strengthened it somewhat and nowadays I really try to engage my core as I run and the runs do feel a bit easier and more effortlessly.  I think I'm done with getting more running shoes for a while.  I've worked out my own system while running outside (I've tried bring money to buy water on the way, holding off until I get home, and by the end of last year I got myself a hand-held running bottle with a zipper pouch).  My running time are pretty set; I always go around dinner-time.  And I've given up on trying to follow any training calendar and just run as I see fit.

I feel that a lot of the advices and guidelines and how-tos are not quite designed for me.  I have no explanation for the shoe thing.  I guess we'll find out if running with unsupported shoes will give me problems later on.  And I no longer do tempo or speed runs.  I know they are supposed to help you build your speed, but every time I push beyond my comfortable speed my plantar fasciitis comes back and it's agony.  I've done 3 5K runs this week, which is too big of a milage increase from the week before but I don't care since I'm happy with my runs.  And I think I'll leave the anaerobic exercise to the HIIT class I signed up again for next term.  Running will remain my cardio workout.

And all of a sudden last week and this week I'm able to push through my 1-mile barrier and today I ran for 30 minute straight at a constant speed of 5 mph before slowing to a walk and I've never ever done that before.  I know it doesn't sound like much and I'm not going to go any faster in a while but to me it's a substantial achievement.  And nothing had changed in the two weeks except my mindset.  I told myself that I would run for 30 minutes before stopping to a walk and 40 minutes total and that's what I did.  I almost didn't go run today but I told myself that if I wanted to order Thai food for take out I need to go run to burn off the calories.  I persuaded myself to hit the gym and somehow also managed to not get Thai food.  And I normally suck at self-motivation.

So I'm gonna try something new and just do my own thing for a while.  Nothing as crazy and stubborn as Eddie Izzard, but just things that suit me.  The heavy, slow me.  The unathletic me.  I think I need to tailor plans that I can handle, instead of things designed by professionals and for very experienced people.  And one of the things is to make small goals.  Small and tangible, and make them often as I (hopefully) reach the goals.  I told myself that I shouldn't get the Thai dish I really like until I lose 5 lbs.  I'm also going to stick with my 5K runs and increase the frequency with which I run them.  I want to work my way to one week, hopefully in April sometime, that I do one 5K a day for 7 days.  Not at race speed, but just the distance.  And I'm not going to do that right away, but I'm going to build to that point.  I want to run again on Sunday, so I will have done 4 5-K workouts this week.  Maybe next week I'll try 5, maybe I'll stick with 4 again, depending on how I feel.  And once I reach my 7-day goal I'll increase my runs to 45 minutes instead of the now-40.  Or I'll do a 4-mile target distance.  We'll see.  But it'll be slow and steady, until my body gets used to it and wants more variety.  I'm also going to work more on my mental readiness.  Like how not to over-eat, or what to do when I just don't feel like running, or how to better manage the boredom while on treadmill.  I know my body is capable of doing more but mentally I'm scared and nervous.  I don't really have a race I want to do in the near future but I'll slowly tread toward that direction.  And it's going to be good.

It's official; I have a shoe problem

Unlike many other girls I was never one to be obsessed with shoes.  I remember in my freshman year I went to a shopping plaza with my friend and we went into a boutique shoe shop.  After we flipped over the price tag that told us that the pair of unappealing flats we were staring at cost $130 we both commented on how ugly the shoes were and how many books we could buy instead if we had that $130 to spare.

So I'm surprised at myself now at how obsessive I get when it comes to running shoes.

No I don't have a shoe fetish, but I do have a compulsive shopping disorder when it comes to running shoes.

We all know that finding the right pair of running shoes can be difficult.  And as I've learned recently that even when you find a model that fits you your quest will still never end since the old models go out of styles and the new models may not fit as nicely.  I've been running on and off for almost two years and so far I have 1 pair of Saucony Kinvara 5 that I run in regularly, another pair of the same model (different colors) that I stocked in a panic after I learned that when Kinvara 6 came out (now the 7 is too) they stopping selling the 5s.  I had a pair of Brooks Dyad 7 I got after a visit to the Marathon Running store in Boston, that I no longer use to run (think they were too small and way too heavy; I switched out the insoles and use them semi-regularly for daily walking).  I have a pair of Saucony Cohesion 7 which I bought on a whim on Amazon (first time buying an unfamiliar brand without trying them on first) for very cheap, and ended up running almost 60 miles in them, as I recently realized while updating my Nike+ profile. I had a pair of NB trail running shoes I originally used for casual walking but ended up putting a good double-digit milage on, before they became old and full of holes and I had to throw them out.  I replaced those with a new pair of NB (model forgotten) that I planned to use only as walking shoes but they are so comfortable I'm thinking of trying them out for running as well.

And today I received in the mail yet another pair of running shoes.  This time it was a pair of Saucony Hurricane Iso (1st gen, can't afford the $100+ newer model).  This was recommended me on my second trip to the aforementioned Marathon store, and at the time of all the choices I was given I liked those the best.  I was told that I needed more support and the Hurricane Iso would be a good fit, and Saucony as a whole is a good brand for my feet.  I did not find an affordable pair until recently, and after a 2.9 mile test run today I have mixed feelings about them.

This is also the first time I bought shoes second hand.  Granted they weren't from any individual sellers trying to get rid of some old shoes.  They were sold by Amazon Warehouse where they would resell returned or opened item.  They don't usually have second hand running shoes available all the time but I saw them earlier this week.  New shoes often go for about $90 at least and the ones I got only cost me $50.  I was very nervous about buying them because unlike sellers on eBay there were no pictures of the shoes at all, and the description made it sound like someone's walked in them for months.  But they had such a good return policy that I thought there was nothing for me to lose if I just get them and see how they look.  Around the same time I also saw a deal on the same shoes (different color) on Running Warehouse that was a good backup for me so either way I'm adding a new pair of running shoes to my collection.

The shoes looked a lot newer and in better condition than I expected.  They came in a Saucony box but no stuffings or wrappings.  The bottom of the shoes looked like they've definitely been worn and walked in, but the rest of the shoes looked absolutely brand new.  The insoles did not show much ware and the shoes didn't really smell like anyone's feet.  I think someone wore them for a few times and decided she didn't like them.  I've returned a number of pairs of shoes myself and they didn't look worse than the conditions I returned my shoes in.

So I decided to keep them and ditch my back-up plan.  There was no point spending an extra $25 to get a brand new pair when the ones I got were pretty good.  And I wore them to the gym, where I ran almost 3 miles in them.  Even at size 9.5 (my standard Saucony shoe size; I normally wear 8.5 for casual and 9 for NB running shoes) they felt a but snug, which was kind of alarming since they look huge in my hands.  And they do have much better support than the fairly support-less Kinvara I had, and heavier than Kinvara too.  As I was walking to the gym I could feel the shoes pushing at my feet in all directions in ways that were not felt with my other shoes.  The shoes were't tied right so all the way there my ankles were slipping out, and I had to adjust the laces in the locker room before I went into the fitness room.

I can't really access what really happened during my 3 mile run, but by the end my plantar fasciitis was acting in full force and I started to feel that the support may not be unnecessary.  It was refreshing and roomy when I stepped into my New Balance afterwards.

I don't know why my plantar fasciitis was acting up again but I have been feeling it for days now.  It could be that was running longer too soon, it could be the shoes.  Maybe I'm not ready for running in them yet and still need time to figure them out.  Maybe the snugness is a problem.  Maybe the assessment given to me by the running store was wrong again and the shoes are just not right for me. I think I want to test them some more before returning them becomes a real possibility.

While I have more shoes than my running habit can justify, I do have rationales for getting all of them.  The reason why I wanted another pair of (better support) shoes is that it's getting warmer out and it's almost time for outdoor running again.  And while the Kinvara are absolute a dream on the treadmill I am afraid that they would not be enough for while I pound on concrete.  I don't remember whether I ran in them outside last year, but honestly I didn't do a lot of running last summer.  I wanted something sturdier and something that could maybe handle the trails (even thought the Hurricane is not designed for trail running).  But if the Hurricanes are not helping then there would be no point in having them.  I still need to give them more time, and I can't bare having to go another half size up.  Me wearing a size 10 is just too ridiculous.

But rationales aside I still like to look at running shoes I know I will never buy.  I don't have he same attraction for other kinds of shoes, not even canvas shoes or casual athletic wears.  Just running shoes.  Sometimes it's the colors and patterns, other times it may be the cool design (like the Honka One One shoes).  Sometime I suspect I dream of putting them on and go running in procrastination of actual running.  Also I'm still trying to work out how the different shoes can suit different people.  I'm told by every one that I need shoes with support because I over-pronate a little.  And I need arch support. And because of my weight I'm usually recommend heavier shoes like the Brooks.  And I was told by some that the Kinvara it not a good fit for me because it has no support.  But I'm so happy in them.  They are so light and I don't get more injuries wearing them than I would with other shoes.  And I can't figure out why that it.  Why does logic and reasoning not work?  I got the Kinvara 5 purely based on it's good reviews.  Everyone seemed to like them.  I tried them out in the store and they fit my feet.  It took a few tries for me to realize that I needed a full size up with this model (apparently the 6 is even narrower), and I run so happy in them.  Yet I still can't ignore the logic and kept wanting to try out different things, and so far none of them have yielded promising results.  My baffles only resulted in more temptation to buy; usually it would have to take a few days for me to find out whether I'm truly comfortable in them or not so a quick trip to the shoe store does not usually do it.

My Dynamic Body

Yesterday was the last day of our Dartfit class, the HIIT training class I took this term.  Of the 20 or so people who signed up for the class, only 6 showed up.  Another one took an earlier session, but nonetheless the class just felt so empty on the last day.

We did our usual warm up and gathered around the white board, which normally would spell out our end-of-class workout, that yesterday listed our entire class plan.  Instead of our usual 6-7 stations we would rotate in 2X blocks with cardio and water breaks in between, we had 3 large stations with 6 sub-station each.  We would do each sub-station for 35 seconds with 10-second breaks, and complete all 6 sub-stations 3 times before taking a water break and move on to the next big station.  Each station was themed: TRX straps, heavy ropes, and dumb bells.  All the sub-stations within each themed stations follow a similar flow: there was always a lunge, a sit-up, and a push up type of activity, and the other three were sort of unique to the instrument we were using.

So by the end of the class, I did these activities for 105 seconds of each:
Heavy rope jumping jacks
Push-ups
Heavy rope waves
Sit-ups
Heavy rope side swipes
Burpees
Dumb-bell squat lifts
Dumb-bell renegades
Dumb-bell sit-ups
Dumb-bell back lifts
Dumb-bell side lunges
Dumb-bell bear crawls
TRX rows
Medicine ball slams
TRX push-ups
Medicine ball forward and backward lunges
TRX pikes (we switched to fitness balls after the first round)
TRX skaters

It all seemed so daunting at the beginning.  We had done all of these activities before, some were fun, others were absolutely miserable to do.  I think it was the 3X part that scared me the most.  My friends joked that last day of class is like finals, you basically do everything you did and then some.  I joked that maybe that's why nobody showed up to class.

By the end of class all I realized was that, it just wasn't so bad.  It turned out that because there wasn't that much cardio involved (there was the burpee sub-station that was exhausting), so although by the end my arms were feeling like lead, overall I felt strong.  That afternoon, as one of 5 people who showed up to ride it to the end, I realized how much I had improved over the course of the term.  In less than 3 months I had improved on my muscle building and speed.  Not so sure about endurance since I still haven't managed to run a 5K in one shot on the treadmill.  And now I truly regret not signing up for the class for next term.

Registration for next term's class started earlier this week.  At the time I was so determined to not take this class again so I could recuperate and take everything slower and easier.  I thought about taking a morning yoga class with my friends to increase my flexibility, toyed with the idea of taking a fun dance class like hip hop so I could learn some cool routines, and ultimately chose beginners pilates thinking that it would be a milder form of exercise that still focused on muscle building and strength training.  I plan to continue indoor running and I thought pilates would be a nice anaerobic compliment.

The school offers three different pilates: beginners, intermediate, and advanced.  My main concern was whether beginner's class would be too easy, since although I've not taken a pilates class before, I'm not completely useless.  But time wise the beginners class was the only one I could comfortably fit into my schedule, and after watching a few beginners pilates videos online I thought maybe it will be a good challenge for me.

After I registered for my class a friend of mine decided to also take it with me.

Which makes the thought of backing out a bit more awkward to execute.

My current plan is to shop around for morning yoga, Dartfit, and pilates during the first week of class, and in the end decide which one(s) to take.  I don't think I will be doing Dartfit and pilates simultaneously, but if the morning yoga class is pleasant I might do that too.

If I don't like pilates it would be a better excuse to use to quit that class, and if I get injured again during Dartfit it might make me feel less bad about taking a break from it.  I am planning to take it again in the Spring regardless of how this upcoming Winter terms pans out.

On the running front, I did about half an hour on Thursday on the treadmill and managed to do about 2.5 miles, at speeds between 5.0-5.5 with slower speed during walking breaks.  The bottom of my right foot started to feel a bit stressed at 5.5 speed but overall I was quite comfortable running at this newer, faster pace.  Given my weight and prior injuries I'm pushing myself to achieve any certain unrealistic speed goals, but after taking Dartfit I could sustainably run at a speed I couldn't do before, and felt this rush I never had before that was a combination of adrenaline and a sense of accomplishment.  It just made me so happy that I had decided to take this Dartfit class after realizing how much I needed to build some muscle and strength, so  proud of myself that I didn't quit the class after that horrific first day (it did get easier, just like everyone had promised), so thrilled that the class worked, and that I was even injury free now.

All in all it has been a great 3 months.  In retrospect it's such a short period of time, but I think it has been the most dynamic, active, and empowering 3 months in a long time and I'm thankful for all the changes that my body went through.  My weight still has not changed, but that doesn't even bother me at this moment.  I know that if I keep doing what I learned I could push myself to do, I will achieve my health and exercise goals in a few more 3-month cycles.

Here's to another 100: Happy 101~~

Just realized that my last post was my 100th.  I was gonna talk about how I obsessively had to go to the gym today, and afterwards went to a restaurant alone and stuffed myself silly with a burger, fries, and carrot cake, but...

Well I guess I pretty much summarized what I wanted to say in one sentence.

Okay here are a few more details.  I got home later than I had planned and forgot to eat a pre-run snack (also my new scale arrived and I was playing around with that).  When I was running on the treadmill the TV was on and even though I couldn't hear what they were talking about, there were some very nice Christmas dinner themed dishes featured on the news program which ended with a delicious-looking pie, which made me very hungry.  After I got home I realized my need to have a good, fancy meal, and decided to go to a restaurant after my shower.  It's restaurant week in our town so a few places had put out special menus.  I picked one that opened late and for about an hour stuffed my face while reading Stephen Fry's newest autobiography, and came home with leftover fries and carrot cake.  I'm slightly disgusted at myself for eating more than I should, but at the same time feeling blissful.

But back to this artificially special post.  100 is such an arbitrary number and rationally should not really be a cause of any celebration.  It's been about 21 months since I started running and this blog, and overall I've written about my every workout and random thoughts I had during each workout.  Recently, I was ashamed and disappointed at myself for not running regularly in the summer and stopping writing for a few months, and after I started taking my Dartfit course I was just too overwhelmed with the class to really sit down and think about it.  Tomorrow is the last day of Dartfit and maybe I'll write something to reflect on this past school term.

I had also planned to write about all my cooking adventures (thus the "glutton" part of my blog title), but because I am too lazy to take pictures of my cooking, and recounting my cooking experience is too boring for me, I sort of stopped doing that after the first month.  I love to read blog posts where other people try out recipes and include pictorial instructions, but writing about them, especially right after the cooking experience, is extremely dull.

Plus I lost interest in cooking new things sometimes earlier this year and I haven't tried any new recipes in a long time.

Hm...  I really have nothing else to say.  Think I will be more thoughtful and reflective toward the end of December, maybe my later posts, while not landmark-y in number, will be somewhat more nutritious.

Stronger but not thinner

I'm kind of shocked that I have not updated my exercise progress since the end of July.  While I've been neglecting my blog on cyberspace, in reality I've been very active, especially after school started.  Now that the fall term is coming to an end, it's time to just update a few things that's happened since the summer.

I think I avoided writing about my exercising because I was disappointed and ashamed by my lack of progress over the summer.  After the July Instagram challenge ended I signed up for a few August ones that were yoga or plank related, but what had been so much fun in July had just turned into various excuses to take selfies every day and putting them on in the internet.  I felt no progress, and taking a picture of yourself in some tiring yoga pose is not a fun activity to do.  So gradually I've given that up.

(In fact, I've all but closed out my exercising-related account and switched it to a journaling account, documenting all my journaling adventures.  If interested, the new account name is techo_love).

Things were not great on the gym class front either.  Toward the end of August I had all but quit going to class.  The days were getting shorter, I never really developed into an early morning person (all I got was sleep deprivation), and I disliked my cycling class and wasn't comfortable with doing extraneous activities early in the morning.  By the end I realized one thing: I'm not an early morning person and there's no point in trying to change myself.

And running.  Oh boy.  At least last year I had plantar fasciitis as an excuse.  This past summer was just one lame excuse after another in lieu of any running at all.  I was getting fat and disgusted at myself.

Which is probably why I added some exercising regiments and abandoned any morning activities.  I enrolled in a monthly membership at my yoga studio, basically forcing myself to go to yoga class once a week, which apparently was not something I could even keep doing before.  I also registered for a gym class that met in the afternoons 3 times a week.  I had heard good things about the class, and traditionally it was a popular course that gets filled quickly.  It's called Dartfit, and essentially what it is is this really intensive HIIT course.  Somewhat similar to the HIIT course I took in the summer but way harder.

It turns out that I just wasn't pushing myself hard enough.

I had already known that doing anaerobic exercises like HIIT is better for fat burning, in that you burn more calories doing HIIT for an hour than running for the same amount of time.  Granted you can't do HIIT for hours and hours so if you run a lot they sort of even out.  But since I don't run a lot, I need all the other help I can get.

The class was brutal.  I went in pretty confident with myself since I had done HIIT in the summer and thought I could handle whatever that was coming for me.  Instead I thought I had died after the first class back in Sept.  I drank at least a liter of water during class and when I got home afterwards I sat on my chair for at least an hour before I could manage to do anything else, like showering or eating dinner.  I seriously considered quitting after that first class.  A friend who also signed up for the class left the gym half way through the class and never came back (he showed up to class sporadically afterwards but was going even less consistently than I was throughout the term).  I hated the feeling of running out of breath, and seeing how everyone else was faster and was having an easier time.  But I didn't end up quitting because I knew there was no other way I would ever work that hard if I just work out on my own.  And veteran students of the class kept telling me that it gets easier, it really gets easier.

And I really wanted a Dartfit T-shirt and be worthy of it.

So I stuck around.  I don't think I've ever gone for the full 3 times a week regiment.  Sometimes I just go once a week.  But the others were right.  It did get easier.  Sometimes I cheated.  Sometimes I focused so hard on my breathing I manage to beat it out without feeling like dying.  Sometimes the class was easy so we all felt like we were getting stronger.

I took it easy after realizing that I was getting shin splint on both of my legs from running around the indoor track.  It baffled me.  I thought if anything else I at least knew how to run.  So I learned some new stretching moves and took it easy at the beginning.  I still get shin splints some times, but I get it because I was running faster.  When I had to sprint I actually sprinted, sometimes faster than others in class.

I could feel that I was getting stronger, and I would never be able to do it if it wasn't for this class.

But with Dartfit and yoga, and badminton at the beginning of the term before I hurt my wrist, I didn't have time to run anymore.  I got lazy on the days I didn't have class.  I just couldn't get my butt to the gym when I didn't need to be there.  And when I finally was running again a few weeks ago I found that while I could run faster I couldn't run as long.  I struggled for 2 miles and gave up on doing a 5K, and more recently I've been afraid to do prolonged running in case my shin splint gets worse.  It's a constant struggle but at least I'm getting more cardio workouts in.

And today I had my best yoga class ever.

I had lost about 2 pounds recently and have been eating healthier and more sensibly.  I did not lose a significant amount of weight.  If anything I gained weight and I don't know why.  I assume I have more muscle mass now and the fat has not gone away, because I didn't feel heavier and my clothes still fit.  Anyways, I felt really good today.  I felt curvier and lighter, and when I was doing yoga I felt that I had more space around my body to work with.  Fat usually got in the way of the more badass moves.

But today I felt light and strong.  I was more flexible and I could twist more.  My upper body was flexible and my arms could handle push ups more easily.  I still sweated a bucket but I didn't struggle with any of the moves (except I still suck at balancing).

I can safely say that I've never felt so strong during a yoga class before.  And I felt really, really good.

I think most of it has to do with the Dartfit class I'm taking.  I'll definitely keep it up next term.  But more importantly I'm glad I decided to stick with the class and work though my struggles, knowing I'll be better and stronger if I can safely make it out on the other end.  I still dread at the thought of going to class, and I still feel like I'm dying sometimes during or after a class.  But at least I know now that if I do it for a while there is a real effect.  A good effect.

Exercise Diary: I'm back, it's back

Weekends are for long runs during times you would not normally be out.  And I'm glad that I took advantage of my weekend.  Yesterday morning I got up extra early and went to the next town over to do my favorite loop, and today I tried to do some fartlek around my usual pond.  I really need it too to burn of all the delicious I ate in the past week.

After many last minute yoga classes and pond runs, I spent 6 blissful days in New Orleans, where my lab mate and I attended this years American Society of Microbiology conference and did all the touristy things one would do in New Orleans.  There were 4 days of overwhelmingly vast choices of workshops and talks and vender and posters to attend and look at, we each presented a poster detailing our work, and got really excited about microbiology in general and our research specifically.

But perhaps more fun were the things we did outside of the conference.  We went up and down Bourbon way too many times since our hotel was right in the heart of the French Quarter and a block away from Bourbon, went to the French Market, visited many pubs and bars, looked around in many galleries and antique shops, and took many pictures.  But the reason for my runs, and the things that I was most akin to, were the southern food.  Surprisingly only very few meals I ate there consisted of fried food; somehow I managed to avoid that for the large part.  But I did make a point to eat as much seafood as possible, because why not?  So after these blissful days I managed to try beignets, alligator sausage, po-boys, gumbo (many many times, it's my favorite!!), étouffée (which tasted just like gumbo), oysters, catfish, and many other delicious things.  Not to mentions the cocktails and beers I tried every chance I got.  Unfortunately apart from the Hurricane we had on our first night there, none of the other cocktails (including a very expensive absinthe drink that was way overpriced) gave me any buzz.  At least now I know now how these traditional New Orleans drinks taste.

Both my lab mate and I were absolutely disgusted at ourselves by the end of the trip for how much we ate and how lavishly we ate.  I could feel that one of my shirts became noticeably tighter.  Surprisingly after I got home I found my weight stayed within a reasonable fluctuation of what I normally weigh, and after not eating any real meals for two days after coming back (there was no food in the apartment and I was too afraid to go shopping on an empty stomach, and I was abnormally exhausted after coming back), I actually lost a pound.  Perhaps I didn't eat as much junk food as I thought I had.  After all I did eat a lot of soup (gumbo).

But it was time to go back to regular exercising.  Although I brought my gym clothes and running shoes to New Orleans I didn't get any chance to go running.  The hotel gym closes at 11pm every night and apparently that just wasn't late enough for all the things we ended up doing every night.  On our second to last day I saw many people out running along the tram tracks that go through the middle of the road and those people made me happy.  For one, there are runners in New Orleans, and for another, none of them were very fast (though they all looked very fit).  It's probably the humidity that slowed those people down, or maybe where I am from people are just more into running as a whole.  Either way I was very happy to see them and if I had stayed for another week I would definitely join them.

Did 3.5 miles yesterday and honestly it wasn't as bad as I had thought.  I was going extra slow at first since I didn't want to burn out again after mile 1 with its steep downhill and grueling uphills, and surprisingly I managed to do the whole run without any walking.  Granted the entire thing was slow, and I wasn't really concentrating on my run since I went back to my podcast listening, but it was nice and cloudy and breezy, and I had a good time outside enjoying a beautiful town early in the morning. People were extra friendly too, every cyclist, runner, and other early risers who saw me waved or smiled at me, and I really appreciated the comradery.  On my way back I even saw one of my students running too.  Since they were taking their finals later that day I guess it's her way of de-stress.

Today I couldn't get up early enough for a run so I resorted to the pond in between my experiment.  I've long given up the idea of me lifting or doing HIIT exercises so I thought doing fartlek or interval running to increase fat burning would by my way to burn more fat.  But maybe I over did it today.  By the second lap I could feel a sharp pain surging from the bottom of my right foot and all I could think of it, oh no, my plantar fasciitis is back.  I'm not sure if it ever fully went away but I haven't had the cropping pain in a long time and my foot hasn't bothered me in a big way after my runs for a while.  Maybe given my weight at the moment and the pressure I put on my legs and feet when I try to run too fast is just not a good idea.  I will still do intervals but maybe I shouldn't push myself too hard.  I just hope today's little episode won't turn into something bigger.  I don't want to spend another summer not running and procrastinating on stretching out my plantar fasciitis.  Fingers crossed.

Exercise Diary: Sweaty Summer

Went to yoga yesterday and the class was packed.  I guess since most of the classes were canceled yesterday on campus due to the holiday, people did most of their sunbathing during the day and decided it was time to go to yoga in the evening.

Worse, because of the holiday there was no public transportation.  So instead of rushing to finish my experiment (yes I still worked) so I could catch the bus, I had to speed walk to the studio only to find that the only empty spots in the classroom were way in the front.  So for the first time I did yoga in the front row and I guess it was okay.

Basically I was wet from before the class started to way after it was over.  I broke into a sweat walking to the studio, I soaked my shirt and my towel during the class, and after we were done it started to rain outside so I was wet again while walking home.

And for some reason I decided to do about 30 squats (got to have a booty to fit into nice shorts right?) while cooking dinner last night and my thighs today were hurting like I had never excised before yesterday.  So much so that I chickened out again today and only did two laps around the pond (2 miles).

I again decided not to bring my visor today and again it was a mistake.  The sun was beaming, and it was very very warm.  Nice breeze, but still very hot.  While running I could feel sweat dripping down my forehead and neck, but it wasn't until after my run while stretching that I realized the low back of my shirt was completely soaked.  So is my bra, and basically my whole upper body.  I think next time I need to bring a change of clothe so I don't walk home wet again.  Gross.

I feel like I've become weaker since I started running outside.  Today was probably because of my sore thighs, but I felt like I was ready to be done barely half way into my first-miler.  That was an ego crusher.  about 0.8 mile I decided to do a little fartlek and ran toward some arbitrary land mark before succumb to a walk.  And that was about 10 minutes of running so I guess I was sort of doing my 10K training maybe.  I did two more run-relatively-fast-then-jogged-for-a-bit-and-walk thing before deciding that 2 miles is good enough for today.

Listened to fast music again, all of them at least a few years old now but familiar and comforting.  I really don't understand, other than for safety reasons maybe, why many races don't allow the runners to wear headphones.  I don't find the music distracting from my running and breathing, rather I think it helped me to focus.  I sort of simultaneously tune into the music and zone out of it.  I could feel my breathing but couldn't hear how excruciating it sounds, which in truth is a discouraging distraction.

My coworker forwarded me an email today about a half-marathon in November.  I was tempted because of the swag, but I just don't think I can make a commitment right now.  And after today's run I really don't think I'm ready either.  While I know that I need a goal so I don't always run the crappy 2 miles when I get myself around that pond, I think a half-marathon (whether it's just finishing or finishing within its time limit) is a bit out of my reach.  It's a good goal theoretically, but I think in truth I would just be afraid of it and do what I always do when I'm afraid: procrastinate.  And that will not be helpful.  So we'll see.

Exercise Diary: So much for that 10K app

First day back at running.  Did 2.5 miles in my new Saucony Kinvara 5 (the awesome blue kind with trippy green shoe laces).  Not a good run but at least I made myself go around the pond 3 times.

Today I also tried the 10K app I recently downloaded.  It's developed by the same people who made the popular C25K app, so I thought it would be really helpful.  For the 10K app they essentially extended their methodology, and employed the same run-walk-run strategy.  And it theoretically made sense.  Since I could run a 5K if I really wanted to, I started from the week 9 program, which was run 10-minute walk 1-minute for about 4 times.

In reality it didn't work quite well.  With the new shoes and my recently opened body I went way to quickly in the first 10 minutes, which actually felt really great, until I got bored/tired around minute 8 and thought, oh no, this is not going to go well.  Although the 10K app is supposed to be compatible with Nike+ and a bunch of music apps like Spotify and Pandora, it didn't work too well with my non-traditional app, and instead of voice signaling my walking break, the music simply dimmed for 2 seconds.  You eventually get used to that, but it could be very confusing at first.  Naturally I missed my first break.

I tried to make it up by walking for about a minute and keep running, but it threw off my whole rhythm.  Plus the sudden stopping to walk really messed up my breathing.  The rest of my run consisted of pain in the diaphragm, irregularity in my heart beat, and a general decline in stamina and speed.

All in all the app didn't do anything to my advantage.

Not sure if I'm going to continue using this program.  I could theoretically do my own run-walk-run routine using landmarks on my route as signals, or I could just run the whole time for a long as I could.

The new shoes felt really good actually.  I had been very unhappy with them since I had a hard time making them fit, but after wearing them for a while and adjusting the lacing they became a natural extension to my feet which is nice.  My feet didn't really hurt that much during today's run, and although the size-9.5 shoes look really big they felt like a really good fit.  I think they are a keeper.

Other thoughts:

• Up until I went out in my running gear it was cloudy all day.  So although I brought my new visor I decided not to use it.  And I immediately regretted that decision as soon as I stepped out.  The sun peered throughout the cloud and was very bright, and although there was a very nice breeze it was still very hot.  
• The right side of my forehead and neck sweat more than my left side.  This is no longer a new discovery but it was more prominent today.  I hate the feeling of sweat dripping down my neck and I don't think it is something that can be rescued by a visor.  Would I look really stupid if I run with a towel in one hand?
• Ran today with a playlist of upbeat music, which I've almost never done before.  I always run with a podcast or an audio book.  But I think the upbeat music works a lot better.  For one I don't really have to pay attention to it.  In fact sometimes I deliberately ignore it.  But the fast beat helps with the mood and my breathing, and is not as distracting from the actual running.  
• I found it to be quite helpful if I focus a lot on my breathing during the run.  I guess it's kind of like yoga, you have to make sure you are breathing deeply no matter what you are doing.  Although that idea kind of failed toward the end, but I think overall if I focus on the actual running rather than actively trying to ignore it by engaging more in what I'm listening I would feel less tired too early on.

Exercise Diary: Being afraid

Today was the first time I went back running after my first road run of the year.  That road run was hard, in that my legs were sore for days afterwards that made me feel like I had not done any running at all since I stopping running outside last year.

The weather never got warm enough to run outside again but I had not done any running otherwise.  Life happened and I used that as an excuse to not go.  I was sleep deprived so every day when I got home all I wanted to do was take a nap.  Last week I was overwhelmed with work stuff that I decided to focus on my diet instead of spending hours after work going to the gym.  I did manage to shake off a few stubborn pounds by eating very little in the evenings and very early.  I told myself that if I feel lighter I would have an easier time exercising.

My parens came 2 weeks ago and brought a bunch of stuff that I didn't get to take with me when I got back from my winter vacation.  With two more suitcases in my room I no longer had space to roll out my yoga mat so I didn't do any other exercises either besides running.

All of this was fueled by the fact that even when I had the time and energy to go to the gym and run a few miles, I was afraid that I would get tired, or that it was take up too much time before and after (like now; I got home before 10 and now it's 10:40 and I still haven't showered or changed).  It's not just putting on my gym clothes and go running.  It's making sure that I'm not too full or too hungry before I go, the stretching and doing other exercise videos after coming home, the writing of the blog, and the constant debate of whether I should eat something because on the one hand I feel that I deserve food after exercise but on the other hand I really don't deserve that much food.  It's not like I ran a marathon or something.

Life finally went back to normal for a bit.  On Friday we assembled the graded exams which took up a lot of my time last week.  I had a very relaxed and unproductive weekend which made me slightly guilty but at the same time absolutely happy.  I ate way too much over the weekend because of an awesome shopping trip to Trader Joe's, and all of these culminated to my determination and actual execution of going to the gym.  I wasn't very hard on myself and only did 2 miles.  I stopped because my legs were tired.  They felt tight and sore and I thought I would allow myself some time to get back into the load I was doing before.  After coming home I did Cassey Ho's new squat challenge video which was a very intense few minutes but felt absolute heaven.  I need to clear out my room so I could have enough space to do other videos later but hopefully today was a nice beginning of getting back into my old workout routine.  It's almost May and this month has gone so quickly in so many ways while being so slow in other, but I don't think I will see a significant change in my body shape when I'm ready to take a new picture of myself.  I'm not terribly worried, but I would like to change faster.

Exercise Diary: Something different

At some point last month I reached my one year runniversary.  It was toward the end of March, I was getting emails about a 5K to raise money for cystic fibrosis (this year it's a walk instead), my parents came to visit (they did again last weekend), and I just had this overwhelming urge to give this running thing one last try.

And here we are today.  Granted about 6 months within the last year I spent thinking about running and nursing an injury, and dreaming a lot about running marathons someday and buying fancy shoes and other gears.  I lost 10 lbs but am having trouble losing more.  It's still a struggle to balance everything but at least I'm moving.

Went for a run on Sunday (after my parents left) and a run yesterday.  Both were hard for different reasons.  I had trouble getting through 5 miles on Sunday, and I wasn't able to, leaving the gym 5 minutes before closing and not getting the run I needed.  I kept stopping to walk, and changing the channels.  There was nothing on TV that would keep me calm and occupied for the hour, and I had trouble keeping myself entertained.

Yesterday I did my first road run.  The weather forecast reported low 70s and I thought, finally~  I didn't go far; I had to do 3 miles and I ended up running around the pond next to our building 3 times since it's close by, the laps are easier to remember, and if something goes wrong I could easily stop and go back.  I had prepared to bring my shoes (with the Nike+ sensor), bra and  pants to change, Garmin Forerunner 10, my cap and my SPI belt.  I actually brought everything but the shoes...  I put them in a bag and forgot about them.  Luckily I was wearing sneakers that day anyway and I had run in them so they are somewhat safe.  I did manage to loop the pond 3 times, the watch worked fine, the podcast was interesting, the weather accommodating (windy and cloudy but not too hot or cold), and plenty of people who had the same idea as me looping the pond in both directions.

It was only then I realized that my runs on the treadmill was getting me very, very complacent.  I was struggling toward the end of first mile, received a mild shock at the concept of hills, had to stop and walk toward the end of mile 2, and my legs (thighs, butt, calves, and surprisingly only a little of the feet) are still hurting quite a bit this morning.  I had to readjust my running pose to something more comfortable for road running where I actually had to push myself more to move ahead on immobile ground (so I had to lean forward more), I was painfully aware of how hard my feet were pounding the ground and legs not raised much.  My cap was absorbing most of my sweat but I was still stuffy.  But my eyes had so much more to see: the people, the scenery, the incoming cars...  I think I will stick to the pond for a bit more until I get used to outdoor running before moving to somewhere more hilly and farther from home.  I also need to start bringing a water bottle.

On the flip side, I spent way too much time yesterday (during work and after) struggling with modern technology, everything from a stupid printer to my various sports devices and music players.  By the end, I connected my computer to another printer, decided that Nike+ on any Android device (maybe with the exception of Samsung, which I don't use) is just useless, wrote to Nike+ support so they can deal with another issue I was trying to resolve, updated my computer, bought myself a new (refurbished) iPod Touch (just for the heck of it, and at 2 am when I was extremely exhausted), and am still behind on work.

And I'm exhausted this morning, catching up on blogging.

I really hope the rest of the week is going to be better.  It's been a long week and it's only Tuesday.

Exercise Diary: Need more data~

A friend of mine defended this thesis today and officially became a Ph.D.  Juxtaposing that with the fact that I have not been doing a lot of lab work due to my TA schedule and my inability to compartmentalize my mind and focus on things in front of me, made me feel on the one hand extremely proud him and on the other hand slightly worried for myself.

Anyhoo, in order to go celebrate his successful defense I skipped yoga today, had some champaign which was for some reason much stronger than I anticipated (probably because I was drinking on an empty stomach), and then ingested an obscene amount of cake, chips and salsa, and veggies with yummy ranch dressing.  I got home with a headache and was absolutely exhausted.  Took a nap and really struggled to go to the gym afterwards.

I did only 2.5 miles today, just to save the long run for the weekend.  Given how tired I was when I got up and how much junk food I had in my stomach I did not anticipate that I would have an excellent run.  But it just felt... really easy.  My foot didn't bother me, I felt energetic, and I felt really comfortable going up to higher speeds.  I was pleasantly surprised how short my run felt, and I had a blast watching a documentary on wildlife in Russia on the Animal Planet channel.

And I can't really figure out why.  I had assumed that because of the stress, the slacking of fluid intake, the lack of sleep, and my general decline in running ability had contributed to my recent struggle every time I get on the treadmill.  Maybe I was mentally less tired today since I knew it was going to be a short run (but I was still afraid of it)?  I can't quite figure out what was different about me today.  I got about 6.5 hours of sleep last night, plus another 1.5 or so hours before going.  I ate oatmeals for breakfast, a vegetarian lunch, and about 2.5 L of water before the cake and snack fiasco.  I took my daily vitamins right after I got home.  I don't consider that a wild stray from my normal daily routine.

I don't know what made today so easy.

After I got home I did two Ballet Beautiful videos: swam arms and butt series 1.  I wasn't in the mood of trying anything new today, and both were a struggle but after many pauses and stretches and coconut water I managed thru them both.  I wanted to do another abs video from blogilates but I was tired, and it was getting late.  So maybe tomorrow. I think since tomorrow is not a running day I will do legs and abs and something else.

Wednesday morning I tried to do a video before leaving for school.  It was a new video too and that wasn't very smart.  I forgot why I decided to do it, probably to make up for not doing anything on Tuesday (granted I didn't leave lab until 10:30 for TA stuff and had to get up for the 8:45 am the next day).  I didn't get through the entire video due to time and lack of strength, but yesterday was also a long day and I felt much more energetic.  I was hungrier faster, but I wasn't tired, and I think the morning exercise may have something to do with it.  I just couldn't get up this morning to try again, but I will repeat this experiment someday.

It's almost the weekend!  My parents are coming to visit so I will have to plan my time carefully, but they will bring me yummy food, and we are going to see ballet together and all of us are very much looking forward to it.

Exercise Diary: Running Behind

I'm running behind on everything in life at the moment.  Running schedule, workout exercises, research, preparing for lab that I'm supposed to TA next week, filing my taxes, doing stuff for mom, laundry, writing this blog after each time I run or exercise, and even leisure books I wanted to read.  In fact the only things that I'm not behind are TA things or research things (or going to the movies) that require me to be at a certain place at a certain time.  Because there are consequences if I don't show up on time.  And even when I'm physically there I'm not always prepared to do whatever I'm supposed to be doing.  When I don't have to be somewhere I waste my time just relaxing, being tired, and procrastinating in general.

I did manage to get two runs in this week, neither of which I have recorded, since I had to be somewhere right afterwards so I didn't have the luxury of sitting around, writing a blog post, shower, eat, and sitting around some more.  I ran on Thursday, and had an hour to come home and shower before going to lab again to set up some stuff for one of the undergrads in our lab.  And today I went running again, only to have the same time crunch afterwards so I could make to the 4pm movie of "Paddington" which I really wanted to see (and it was totally worth the $5).

And I didn't even have enough time to do all my running.  I was supposed to do 3 miles on Thursday and only did about 2.8 before I had to go.  And I was supposed to run 4 miles but only had time to do 3.2.  Today was a combination of being really tired and being short on time.  I again timed my lunch wrongly so I was sort of running on a full stomach and felt heavy and tired.  Neither run felt very satisfying or accomplished.  My only accomplishment this week is dragging my butt to the gym twice.  What I ended up doing in there was nothing to brag about.

So today I made the decision of starting last week over again in terms of my training schedule.  Even since I knew for sure that I'm not doing a half marathon in May I could feel a slight but definite drop in motivation (albeit masked by my suddenly busy schedule), and I think not going running on Monday was a very telling sign.  I want to keep adhering to my training plan, even though I have no race at the end, but I just want to be constantly preparing for something in case a race shows up, and I just really need the discipline.  Otherwise I will just be randomly running for some undetermined distance at some leisure speed, and I would be running for month without real progress.  I really need the structure and something to guide me.  I just hope I will stick to it now that there is no consequence at the end of the plan.  When I reach the end I will just start a new plan, one that probably will prepare me for something hypothetical marathon I may or may not be running in December.  But I want to keep it up.  It's important to me.

Today I also did a Ballet Beautiful butt workout, courtesy of a friend who's been doing that series of videos for a while now.  Apparently it's very good at getting rid of inches and sculpting good arm and leg shapes in a very short period of time.  I still don't understand the science behind "getting rid of inches" and what is actually going on behind that, but I can only assume that the workout burns a lot more calories since they are very intense.  A lot of the moves in this video were not unfamiliar to me, but of course there are always ways to make them more difficult given enough time.  I definitely felt my legs and glute muscles after the workout, but I don't think I benefitted as much as I could by following the instructor at her speed.  She was able to do all the moves so quickly and effortlessly, and it was sort of implied that we the students should really take our own time with the reps and the stretching in between, but since it was my first time I was determined to follow all her lead, and found that in order to keep up with her speed I couldn't carry out all the moves and reps fully.  Next time if I ever will repeat this video I will definitely do the reps at my own pace.  But I did end up taking a second shower of the day after this video and was walking a little more carefully, so it's definitely working, regardless of how carelessly I was doing all the moves.

I'm still in the process of reassessing my life for this term, how to balance the sudden intrusion of my time, ensuring a proper and healthy diet (I've already eaten more junky meals than I liked), and keep a reasonable workout schedule, since I think that's very important to my sanity as well.  I need to suck it up and just do everything.

Exercise Diary: what a day

Spring is finally here!  Need proof? Mud.  I actually stole the last bit off of a board somewhere on campus.  But it's true.  It's been raining all day today and we've moved on to snowy to muddy.  Not my favorite part of spring but I did go to the gym today with no heavy jacket or outer pants so...

So much happened today in terms of everything fitness.  So far today I've drunk about 3 liters of fluids (coffee and water) and still counting (I'll try to get down 3 14-oz mugs of tea before bedtime), which I've been doing all week but today I actually rigorously counted and timed my fluid intake.  My diet, however, fell short by about a mile since I ate nothing but spaghettios  all day (breakfast and lunch).  They are homemade and they were make this morning so at least there was no preservatives and they are fresh, but in terms of nutrition... well, telling yourself it's got protein from milk and cheese and veggie from the tomato sauce can only go so far.  Plus I way over ate and basically spent the whole working day today doing everything I could, short of self-induced vomiting, to get all this carb and fat out.  This included standing all day, walking around as much as possible, drinking a lot of water afterwards, and even doing squats while I was in the dark room developing some film for my experiments.

The good news is, I did manage to get some of it out before going to the gym.  I wasn't worried about feeling bloated or full while I run, but I just don't want to carry any extra weight if I can.

I also found these fat burning pills I bought way back when, that if you take them about an hour before your workout, they help increasing the amount of fat you burn.  They got good reviews when I bought them who-knows-when, and I figured that since I had some left I might as well take them before I go running.

I think part of its mechanism is to induce water loss right before your workout, and somehow quench your thirst during the workout, and I still haven't figured out if it does anything to you afterwards.  I don't feel that my belly or thighs getting extra warm or anything so I don't know if there are more fat being burnt, but the whole water loss at the beginning was unsettling.  I had thought I just drank too much water during the day and therefore I had to go to the bathroom more but what happened before I had to leave for the gym was unsettling.  I was afraid that I wouldn't last even a mile on the treadmill before I had to go again but thankfully somehow by the time I got on the treadmill my body went into no-i-don't-need-anymore-water-but-i-also-don't-need-to-get-rid-of-any mode.

So that was all weird, but my run today was fantastic.  I still weighed more than I did yesterday when I got on the treadmill (still lots of people today and the cardio machines were dangerously full but there was one for me and that was all it mattered), but my 4-mile run felt great.  The speed I usually run at felt easy and effortless, and I could just go on and on.  The only thing that bothered me was my right foot as I sped up, but I managed to stay at 5 mph for about 10 minutes before I forced myself to slow down as my run was approaching an end.  I really think I am getting better.

Watched an entire episode of Makers series on PBS on the women's movement.  It was the first of a two-parter (I think, there may be more than 2 parts so who knows), and it ended gloomily as the Equal Rights Amendment failed to be passed in the 70s and abortion clinics suffered severe harassment till today, but the show was narrated by Meryl Streep and ended on a promising note.  The second part advertised things like gay women's rights (featuring Ellen Degeneres) and some other exciting but now-forgotten topic I can't recall, so I think I'll actually go search for it on the PBS website and finish watching the two-parter.  But it was a remarkable show and at various points I found myself to be very emotional and almost cried, all while running of course.  It was weird.  But I guess after all the LOLs while watching various cop shows and sit-coms it's time for some opposite emotions.

After I got home I buckled down and did the Day 10 beginners pop pilates workout from Blogilates.  It consisted of some ab workout, bubble butt workout (which I also did on my own on Tuesday and was still feeling it), and a stretching video.  I also added a new arm workout that was part of new video Monday.  That video only had five moves and 1 minute each for each move, so it seemed easy (and short), but by the time I finished doing the arm circles and arm spears (which were too bad) and triangle and cobra push-ups (really really bad) I had absolutely no strength for alternating plank push-ups, as my arms started to involuntarily crashing down onto the floor.  So it was only a 4-minute workout for me.  My arms still hurt a lot and I had trouble pointing and clicking the right window on my computer screen afterwards.

Now I'm done.  Yay and it felt really good too.  Plus I'm feeling hungry as much carb-heavy lunch has finally passed through my colon.  No carbs tonight.  Okay maybe a little but definitely no spaghettios and no heavy dairy stuff mixed in.  Maybe some soba noodles.  Mmm.

Exercise Diary: tight and tired

Day 2 of pre-8pm gym adventure.  The gym was again packed.  And I somehow ended up running next to the same old man as yesterday, although I wasn't on the same treadmill.  In fact, I was on the treadmill next to the one I was on yesterday, which incidentally was the treadmill the old man was using yesterday.  I realized today that even though he ran intervals, he ran way harder and longer than I could ever do since his intervals were for 1 mile and he did like a bizillian of them.

Sadly, the only reason why I was on the treadmill next to the one I used yesterday was because yesterday's treadmill was broken.  I don't think I'm the one who broke it, but it's still sad and weird to know that just a day ago I was using it and it was fine.  Incidentally the now-broken treadmill also used to be my favorite, until I kept not able to use it and subsequently realized that all the treadmills, except for the really bad ones, are pretty much the same.

One of the result of running next to a broken treadmill was that I got to watch countless number of people getting on it, trying to start it, failing, and moving on to another treadmill or another piece of machinery.  It's kind of funny that neither I nor the girl on the other side of the broken treadmill bothered to warn them, and as far as I know no one had reported it broken to the front desk.  I didn't bother since I couldn't really talk, and also since I had been one of those people who jabbed the touch pad without success, I thought it would be fun to watch other people doing it too.

Watched almost an entire episode of Rizzoli and Isles during my run today.  Too bad I didn't get to find out what happened in the end.  But since I don't even remember what the episode was about now I guess it wasn't a great big loss.

Oh, and I also somehow had the belief that I had to do 3 miles instead of the planned 2.5, that I struggled the last half-mile for no reason.

I don't know how it happened.  Somehow during mile 1.5 I told myself that I was half way done and never realized until after I was done how silly I had been.  My Nike+ was also being bitchy.  Somehow now it thinks I'm running slower than before, after countless times I had to re-calibrate it for over-calculating my speed.  I think it may have to do with the way I moved my legs.  I tried to slow and lengthen my stride as I got faster to control the number of time my feet had to hit the ground, and since my Nike+ iPod uses a sensor on my foot that measures the speed and length of one's stride, I guess I could appear to be going slower than usual.  Except I think the sensor should be smarter than that.  I don't know, I hope I don't have to get a new sensor before switching to an iPhone.  Not that an iPhone would be great to use on a treadmill, but evidently the Nike+running app on iPhone allows you to input your workouts manually, so you will still have a record of your runs on Nike without having the app doing any work.  I wonder if I could do that on the webpage when I move on to my GPS watch.  So far I haven't figured out how.

Anyhoo, today's run was... brutal.  I had a banana before going and I didn't feel hungry or anything during the run, and it was a short run, but I just felt so tired and it was such a struggle.  I should not run the day after a long run, even if the long run was only 5 miles.  My legs were tight from the very beginning.  In fact they were tight all day today, and I could feel the muscles as I walked up and down the stairs.  They weren't sore, they were just tight, and you are aware of them.  Now they are sore, even after stretching and all that.  And the thighs are particularly bad since I think I used my thighs a lot to pull my feet up since the run today really ruined my right foot.  The plantar fasciitis was really acting up, right after I slowed down after my speedier pulses.  It got even worse during my cool down walk, and I really hope I can still walk tomorrow.  I also wanted to use more of my upper body to take some of the pressure away from the legs, but I didn't know how.  I tried to breathe from the core, and all it did was made me spit a lot.  I tried to tighten the core and lift my torso a bit but all that did was giving me tight shoulders.  I know strong abs help with running, but since I still don't have strong abs what am I supposed to do?

But somehow I still manage to finish my run, half a mile more than planned no less.  I didn't stop to walk or anything, and I really hope I either burned more fat than usual or strengthen my thigh muscles some what.  I went home and did two blogilates videos, one on the glute and the other on the arms.  I also resumed my thigh and butt challenge moves, Day 13 of the 30-day workout, on the 25th of this month.  Oh well, better start again some time.  It's really starting to get warmer out (I went to the gym today in my capris, a fleece and a wind breaker, it was that warm), and before I know it I will be running outside with my t-shirt and capris, and I really need to get serious about this weight loss thing.  I realize that now I'm not really trying to use running as a way to lose weight, but rather I'm trying to lose weight so I can run better.  Not just to lose weight, but also to build my muscles.  I like running, and I like to run long and far.  It would be great if I can actually be good at it.  I have marathon goals, goddammit.

Exercise Diary: Do no engage in other activities after running

For a variety of reasons I did not move much after Yoga Tuesday.  For one I wasn't feeling well, and the sudden temperature drop on the east coast didn't help either.  We even had snow on Friday, although judging by other people's feedback we had it easy.

I also partook in some St. Paddy's day spirits.  Our local supermarket is currently under renovation so everything in the store kept moving every time I go there and therefore could never find anything I need and constantly ran into stuff I never noticed before.  This week they for some reason had to stack their alcohol (beer mainly) in small batches all over the store, and the smartly did so by beer type.  So all my favorite types of beer, porters and stouts mostly, were stacked in the same location (as opposed to by brand which was what they did before).  I found three different porter and stouts that seemed interesting.  And since my shopping on Thursday I had already polished off two of the three bottles I bought, and naturally on those days I was unable to do anything active afterwards...

Today was my 3.5-miler.  I'll have to put off my 5-miler long run until Monday, which also means I'll have to go there extra early, before Castle starts, so I could finish before the gym closes, since i don't think I could finish 5 miles in an hour, as I've never kept a 5mi/hr pace for very long.

After my run today, and the run felt eerie, I had a performance rehearsal in the same gym so I thought I would shoot two birds with one stone.  Except I forgot how much I smell after I run, and we had to take our shoes off in the room we rehearsed in.  Nobody said anything during that time but I felt very self-conscious and it wasn't fun.  So that's the last time I'll be doing that.  It's straight to home and shower from now on.

But since the undergrads are still on spring break but the gym is still open for regular term hours, and since today is Saturday, there was almost no one in the gym after 8.  I was one of the 2 or three people in the gym (besides the front desk person), and it felt really weird.  I was constantly wondering if the gym was going to close and I was going to be kicked out.  Caught the end of an episode of "As time goes by", saw an old episode of "The Big Bang Theory", and caught the beginning of an "Are you being served" episode.  So it wasn't heart-pounding television (which some forms actually helps with my runs just like high-energy music does), but very sweet and enjoyable nonetheless.

Exercise Diary: I hope I don't get appendicitis...

We are more than half way through March, and yet I'm still only on Day 9 of my 30-day beginner's workout out and Day 11 of the thigh and butt challenges.  Yet, since the one week when I intensely followed all the workout schedule despite my other activities with running and yoga-ing, I could no longer distinguish one type of pain from another.  Does my heel bone hurt or just my skin on my heel?  Is my plantar fasciitis acting up again or does my foot just feel real tight?  Did I pull something on my hip, or am I just getting sore muscles that happen to be near my hips?  Do my knees hurt from all the kneeling I did for my New Year performance practice or did I do something stupid during my running? Am I getting premature menstrual pain, or have I just over-worked my abs?

Did I just get appendicitis from running after eating too much too soon, or was the pain I felt during my run tonight a normal side-effect of running?

I certainly felt no more pain now, or I would definitely get myself to the emergency room.  But tonight's run didn't go the way I wanted.  With only 2.5 miles tonight I was going to do some mini tempo work, playing with the speed a bit to make the run more interesting and productive.  But after 1.3 miles my left side of my stomach area start to hurt in a way that had nothing to do with my muscles, or at least that's what it felt like.  I didn't know what it was, and as I made it to the 1.4 mark the pain persisted so I slowed to a walk, hoping that by not bouncing up and down as much I would alleviate the pain a bit.

And it did.  So I finished running the last mile.  And for the most part I felt fine, until I finished and slowed to a fast walk and the pain returned, until I got home and stopped moving.  I stretched and sat down to write the post and now I don't feel any more pain anymore, so I hope it's nothing serious.  I probably just ate too much tonight and the food hadn't completely digested.  It's still a problem I have.  i get hungry in the afternoon and instead of eating a quick snack to curb my hunger I start fantasizing about what I want for dinner and like today, I actually went to fulfill my fantasy.

Before I went running I did this butt workout, in addition to the butt and thigh challenge.  I did this because they were short moves (the video was only 8 minutes long, and the actual workout was only 5 minutes), and I thought it would be good to warm me up and wake me up before my run.  My legs ended up hurting so much during that 5 minutes and my butt hurt more after I was done (it as a glute workout video after all).  I think I will feel my butt more tomorrow, and it was a hard core workout, very effective too.  Still I think I liked the other 6-minute workout better, only because I didn't feel as much like dying while doing that video.  And now I'm way too tired to do the Day 9 workout (most because it has a 28-minute total body workout that I'm just scared to do, even though i've already done it twice already and it's really not as bad.  I think I will do it Wednesday.  I probably shouldn't try too hard to add the workout to days I'm already exercising, but rather to use it to fill in the days I'm inactive to created a more regular routine.  Maybe this way I won't feel so guilty during all the days I'm just to tired to do the videos.

Exercise Diary: No skiing, but yes running

I've decided that Fridays, more precisely, Friday nights, are my favorite time.  Despite the fact that grad students have no lives and are expected to work all the time, other factors dictate that when Friday comes, we all know it.  And for the past two Fridays I've really been enjoying them as Friday nights should be enjoyed.  I went out to dinner (burgers and fries), and caught a movie (in real theaters and everything, Marigold Hotel last week, and Cinderella this week.) Afterwards I decided that I needed a rest day, a real rest with junk food, happy evening, and no exercise whatsoever.

Not that it was a conscious decision from the very beginning.  I just felt exhausted.  After the 4.5-miler the day before, I could really feel my legs the next day, something I haven't really felt in a while.  My legs were really tight and my muscles were really sore, and I wasn't even running that fast.  Could I have over-exercised?  I definitely felt the benefits of all the pilates and anaerobic workouts, but I feel that I had pushed my body into something it's unfamiliar with and now it's protesting.  Or maybe I was just being lazy.

Well I have to say yesterday I was being lazy.  And short on time.  I had to catch a 7am bus to Boston, and although I went to bed earlier than I've ever done I still only got about 6 hours of sleep.  And between traveling and doing stuff in Boston I spent exactly 12 hours outside of my apartment and about 1 hour in the rain.  As much as I'm happy that the worst of winter is finally over and we are finally anticipating something resembling spring, I had forgotten how much I hated rain and really would rather prefer snow instead.  Anyway, I got home, ate dinner, watched some TV, and basically just fainted in my bed for about 4 hours.  I woke up at 1 in the morning, did things I was supposed to do on Saturday night (some translation work and stuff, all sedentary), and then I just couldn't fall asleep again, knowing that I had to meet my friend at 8 the next morning for skiing.

Like my title said, the skiing never happened.  I simply overslept.  I didn't mean to, although my poor decisions made it a reality.  When I woke up at 8:36 I was greeted with 5 unanswered calls and one text message telling me that my friend was going to wait 5 more minutes before leaving me (that was sent at ~8:20).  I got the feeling that I wasn't the only one invited to skiing (in fact, I really hope I wasn't, or I would just be the rotten person who made her friend get up at 8 for nothing), since she had done it before, picking up other people for outdoor activities I thought I was the only guest of honor.  But after the panic that I overslept, and the immense guilt that I was a bad friend (in fact I was just internally upset at another friend the day before for not showing to to go to Boston with us and canceling last minute.  I think what I did was way worse), my third emotion was, perhaps unsurprisingly, relief.  And that feeling was further cemented by the pouring rain outside.  I know we would go up in some mountain where the rain was probably snow up there, but still.  As much as I want to squeeze a ski trip in before the winter is out I don't want to do it in weathers like this.

After all these emotions, and somehow managing to send a text back, I fainted for another 4 hours until I couldn't fall back to sleep right again after waking up and finally declared that I was awake.  The rest of the day wasn't any more productive.  I answered a work-related email that didn't take up much time but made me feel that I had done some real work today, ate so I didn't starve myself, watched more TV while I drank a lot of tea (hydration is good for you, etc etc), and went for my 3.5 mile run.  Cuz what else would you do.  In fact, one of the reasons I was happy not to have gone skiing is that I could ensure that I do my run without the fear of feeling to tired.  I got to the gym right before 8, caught the end of the third batman movie, and spent the rest of my run watching a PBS special on the manners of Downton Abbey.  I was hooked to the program, but at the same time annoyed that it was part of a pledge drive so they cut the show every once in a while to these really long pleas for the viewers to donate money.  So I didn't actually get to finish the program before I left.

The gym on Sunday night was, again, deserted.  I don't know if it's because it's finals week and that people are either really busy or have already gone home, but the treadmills were again all vacant when I got there.  In fact, only very few cubby holes were fill by the lobby and the gym in general was very empty.  Which was kind of nice.  The run wasn't that bad but was kind of hard, and that was when I sort of regretted not exercise in the past few days.  Tomorrow I will go back to my full workout schedule and catch up on all the missed workouts.  But at least I completed all the runs for this week and that's something isn't it.

Exercise Diary: Delayed Feedback

I've recently taken up recording my workouts as soon as I finish them so I develop the habit of writing about them/ recording them promptly.  But now I think maybe waiting for a bit before writing about them may give me more time to feel about the aftereffects of these workout.

For example, I did my Day 8 Beginner's pilates workout yesterday, and right afterwards I felt good that I managed to squeeze some exercises into my long Wednesday.  But before I went to bed and was brushing my teeth, I could distinctly feel my glutes hurting.  I knew why it was hurting, but I was surprised that it hurt that much.  It was the result of the bridge exercises I did as part of the total body workout video.  The move starts out like a regular bridge you would do in yoga classes, but instead of staying in bridge form you move your hips and back up and down and touch the mat with your tailbone.  I have tried this before and never felt the true effect.  The trick is to squeeze your butt cheeks real tight when you lift back up into the bridge form.  According to the video you pretend there's a penny you are clenching between your butt cheeks.  I don't think I was squeezing that hard, since as big as my butt is I couldn't quite manage to pull my cheeks in that closely.  But the effect was real and my butt was hurting all day today too.

So that was a pleasant surprise and I hope one day I will have cute bubble butt too.

I chose to do my long run (4.5 miles) today since I'm not sure if I will even have time to run this weekend.  Going to Boston on Saturday, which I already knew, and apparently now I'm going cross country skiing with my friend on Sunday, which I just found out today.  On Tuesday on our way to yoga class, as I watched two guys jogging past our car in shorts,  I absent-mindedly said that it's a shame that I never went cross country skiing this year and it's already getting warm.  So my friend came by today and basically forced me to clear my Sunday so she could drive us up to Bretton Woods, which is like more than an hour away from where we are, so we could go cross country skiing.  I was pleasantly surprised, and somewhat overwhelmed, but also worried that I won't get to do my weekend run.  I fear that I will be way too tired to do a long run afterwards, but I thought if I still have the energy to get my butt to the gym after skiing I should at least treat myself with a shorter run.  So long run today, which also meant no pilates.  It's late and I'm tired, and I still have other stuff to do before going to bed.

Don't know how I will feel tomorrow but the run didn't really tire me out in terms of the cardio.  I was doing pretty slowly so I could keep running the whole time, which I did.  My foot was hurting for like the second half of the run.  My Nike+ failed at one point so now it's congratulating me on running twice in one day.  My breathing got hard during the last half-mile so that wasn't too bad.  I watched an episode of the Middle and two episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel-air which was pleasantly nostalgic.  And the gym was empty (every treadmill was vacant when I got there) during finals week and it's kind of sweet.  But I do have to remember to pay attend to interim hours and the new schedule come next term.

So all in all a pretty good workout day.