Random Thoughts

Kickboxing (aerobics)

So for the summer term I've decided to take a kickboxing class. Except I've learned, from telling this to multiple people, that there's a distinct difference between kickboxing and kickboxing aerobics. As in, when I say kickboxing, people will automatically think of big gloves, target sand bags, and some sort of anger release. But the funny thing is, when I think about kickboxing I just think of rhythmic movements with kicking and punch motions while loud music is playing in the background, which, luckily, is what the class I signed up for entailed (thus the name of the course is kickboxing aerobics, I guess).

I had my first class on Monday. There were 5 people but the instructor said there will be more people in the coming weeks. I knew one of the girls so that was fun. The music was indeed very loud, too loud, in fact, that we couldn't really hear the instructor half of the time. Not that she was doing a very good job instructing to begin with.  I was tempted to drop the class because of that. She was a real nice girl, but she wasn't really good at explaining things, and insisted to do everything with her back to us to better demonstrate the moves, which makes sense except that it just made it harder for her to be heard. And she doesn't really do a lot of prompting before we change moves, so every time we had to do something different she would just do it and we would awkwardly follow.

But in the end I decided to stay. Mostly because it's Wednesday and my legs and back are still hurting like crazy. We did so many push ups, jump squats, and kicks, that my muscles were aching almost right after class ended.  It was alarming at first, because while I wasn't worried about my leg muscles or glutes, my back was hurting very intensely that I had to stop by the indoor track area to do more stretching.  I now realize that I didn't really hurt my back in a bad way, but my back muscles (quadratus lumborum and latissimus dorsi, to be exact) just got a very intense workout. I guess when we were kicking (<100 total) I didn't use my ab muscles enough and relied mostly on my back to get my torso staying straight and stable.

So I've decided to take the class this term.  Not because I love it, but because it's making me doing things I've never done before and doing it harder than I would on my own.

Weight loss

Since using the Lose It! app I've lost about 7 lbs. Which is really good since I know the weight I lost is real. My stomach area is slimmer, my pants are looser, and I could wear some of the T-shirts that were previously too tight for me, which is nice since I had to throw out almost half a dozen T-shirts in the past two weeks because they are falling apart. Now that I can wear some of the smaller shirts again it's like I got a new wardrobe without having to spend any money. And for the 7 lbs I lost I kept it off; I've maintained the same weight for almost 2 weeks.  Which brings me to the more frustrating part: I've not lost any weight for almost 2 weeks.  The whole weight loss plan was sort of put on hold when I got my period and was craving meat and chocolate like crazy, and was so tired that I just couldn't go to the gym.  When I felt better the lazy streak continued and while I didn't really gain any weight because of it, I'm having trouble losing more as well.  I've realized that I just cannot maintain a 1550 daily calorie intake that the app is making me do.  I've been able to keep under the limit before because I was working out almost every day, and when I wasn't I was walking a lot to compensate for it. Now that I stopped moving so much I keep going over my calorie limit and it's gotten to a point where I just don't care anymore. Going home for the holidays next week so things will be wacky again but I swear when I come back I have to bring my daily habit to weight loss mode again.

Shoes

Recently I read a review on the Sketcher Ultra 3 GoTrail shoes, which is one of those extra cushioned  types like the Hoka One One. Except it was a raving review written by someone who usually wear more minimalistic shoes.  And the review was so positive that it made me want to get a pair right away. Not that I need a new pair of running shoes, or new shoes in general, but I just had to.  And although I didn't end up buying that exact model (don't really need trail shoes), I got a similar pair that was designed for road running, and it was less than $50 on amazon, which was the real reason why I got it. I bought the Saucony Kinvara 5 because of the reviewer and they are my favorite shoes ever at the moment, so I can't help but trust the guy. The shoes are supposed to arrive today but I'm not so confident. I will have to throw away a pair just so my shoe collection doesn't get too big. But we'll make it work.  Hey, maybe I won't like them and will return them and this episode of my running shoes obsession would never happen.

Time to get creative

I've decided that I will not run for the next week.

For the past 22 days I've been consistently and almost religiously using the Lose It! app to log all my caloric intakes, and with the help of my Fitbit, track how many calories I burn. The result has been spectacular: I lost almost 7 pounds in the past 2 weeks, and if I keep watching my intake and make sure I at least walk around a bit every day it would not fluctuate that wildly (like my weight does in the past).

Not that I've reached my goal weight yet, not by a long shot.  I'm projected to lose a total of 20 pounds by the end of August, and after that I plan to lose another 20 pounds or so before focusing more on muscle building than a number weight.  But that's way too far ahead and in the main time I need to focus on the smaller goals.

Because of the way Fitbit tracts my activities the most effective way of burning calories that I can mostly closely account for is by running.  So for the past 3 weeks I've been running almost daily, each time for about 2 miles, or at least 30 minutes.  But despite my getting stronger with my HIIT classes, and that I've recently been more courageous with experimenting with dumbbells and abs exercise, all this running has taken its toll.  My plantar fasciitis has come back with full force, not quite crippling me but I can now feel it constantly when I'm just walking. My right ankle also feels funny; I now often get this sharp acute pain surging on the inside of my ankle, and I hope it will not develop into a stress fracture or something.  I may also be developing shin splint on my left leg, which is never a good sign.

So I took a day off yesterday from gym (didn't gain or lose any weight when I measured this morning), and now I'm rethinking about my exercise regimen.  I knew it was only a matter of time before I have to stop running every day.  I tried doing elliptical the other day and for some reason it was way harder than I thought and not quite as comfortable.  Also it didn't really do anything to relieve the stress I think I'm putting on my feet and ankle.  I've since signed up for a kickboxing class for the summer to spice up my aerobics, but the class doesn't really start until the end of June.  I think in the main time I will try the exercise bikes in the gym.  I did take a spinning class last summer so I'm no longer a stranger to these machines. I will probably get a more localized workout to some of my leg muscles that way but I wouldn't be surprised if I don't use these muscles when I run. I've also been more rigorous with my post-aerobic exercises.  Previously I just stretched after running and sometimes add a few abs moves like doing a quick minute of plank or some crunches.  But now I'm trying to work in at least 5 minutes of Abs workout, doing a certain number of reps for any moves I can tolerate (the leg raises, for example, that works on you lower ab, I've since scratched because it hurts my back more than working on my lower abs). Hopefully whether my Fitbit will record my effort or not I'll still be burning calories and every time I get on the scale my weight will keep dropping.

Barely Walking

So I went to the gym again today, on a sort-of empty stomach.  I had to cut my usual lunch of the entire plate of drunken noodle with chicken in half after finding out how many calories there are in a cup of drunken noodles, and I was sort of fine until about 5pm when I had to leave for the gym.  But I didn't eat anything else, and I wasn't really famished so all was well.

I usually start my run at 5mph for about a mile before doing something else, and that's what I did today.  But as I was doing that, I felt like I wasn't really running.  I was more like... speed walking.  And I didn't feel tired like I usually would after about 7 minutes.  I barely had to deepen my breath after I finished the first mile.

And although this was kind of cool, I wasn't really sure what kind of improvement this would count as.  Muscle strength? Stamina? Or just finding a new and better technique to run? As I increased the speed for the next mile I was out of breath for the fastest minute or so, and stopped when I got to about a 5K.

And I felt really good.  Sweaty and slightly out of breath, sure, but my foot wasn't hurting and I didn't stress my body too much with it.  It was just strange.  I mean, it doesn't mean that I'm all of a sudden a very fast walker, and if I walk like the way I did on the treadmill I would look very silly, but I really don't know what I did differently of where I have improved to achieve that.  Or did I just learn to take shorter steps and not bounce as much?  I don't know.

Today the gym was relatively empty.  I went around the same time as I did on Tuesday, but on Tuesday the gym was packed and there was no unoccupied treadmill at all.  I think finals week is approaching for the undergrads and that might explain it a little bit.  Also it was so warm and sunny out I passed at least half a dozen runners and a equal number of cyclists, so maybe everyone was working out outside.  Either way it was very nice not to feel crowded and claustrophobic. And the fitness room is air conditioned, so what's not to like?

I really think all of my strength improvement is due to my HIIT class, but the class will likely not be offered in the summer, and plus I've gotten to the point in the term where I just become very afraid of the class.  Afraid of the tiredness and out-of-breath-ness, even though I know it's good for me in the end.  I've purchased an arm band for my iPhone and wireless sports headphones so I could maybe do some weight lifting or something in the future on my own without having to worry about where to put my phone if I will have to do with music/podcast-less.  I will never achieve the level of fitness as i do in my class, but any muscle building is better than none at all right?

Lose It!

Despite owning just every other Apple products, last week I finally got my first iPhone!  I bought the new SE because of the smaller size and cheaper price.  I was gonna get a new phone anyway and I couldn't be happier that I was actually getting the newest model.

After I got my phone I spent hours obsessively playing with it and installing new programs.  One of the apps I downloaded was the weight loss app Lose It! It's concept is just like every other weight loss app: you count the calories you take in by logging everything you eat, and you count the calories you use by somehow recording your exercise. I usually really hate calorie counting, I always feel that is it is the opposite of healthy eating and a normal life style. But I saw all the positive ratings users have given to this app, and I thought, hey, I need to lose weight, what do I have to lose?

And now I see why so many people like this app.  Yes it is a calorie counting app, and yes if I were to download this even 6 months ago I would probably dislike it and delete it in a day.  But several things have changed in my life: I have a Fitbit that records all my steps and exercise and then some; I have a new phone that has a front and back camera; and I just have this overall curiosity to document everything I do.  I've been using this app for 3 days and although I can't say I will stick with it forever, I did learn some very interesting things already.

First: weight loss really require discipline and patience, and persistence.  When I first started using the app I set an arbitrary goal of losing 20 pounds.  The app told me that if I do it in a way that would not strain my lifestyle or my health I could achieve my goal in September.  If I want to do it even more leisurely I could do it by November. And it sort of struck me.  I know a health way of losing weight is to lose about 1 pound per week, but I never had the capacity, until with the help of this app, to actually determine that if I want to lose 20 pounds, which I genuinely do, this is how long it's going to take. I could do it in a more extreme way but I knew that I wouldn't be able to stick with it, so I contented myself with that fact that hey, September will roll around in an eye blink and I may still carry these 20 lbs, so why now use these months to do something that I really want to do.

Second: I way over eat. This app is extremely great for logging everything you eat because it has a tremendous database of nutritional information, everything from a generic food item (caesar salad, for example), to the specific nutritional value of certain restaurant or supermarket food items.  It also has a scan function so if you eat any prepackaged food (like a can of soda or frozen dumplings), you can just scan the barcode of said item and indicate how much of it you ate (half a can, or 7 dumplings, for example).  There is still some approximation involved, especially with home cooked meal.  It can accurately tell you, say, the caloric count of a 10-oz portion of cooked salmon, but because I didn't tell it how I prepared it, the app cannot accurately determine, say, salt content or the calories of the dash of oyster sauce I splashed on my salmon.  But overall it was extremely painless to log my food, which made the experience way nicer.

But as I said, it's apparently that I have been way underestimating how much I think I eat.  It's no wonder that with all the exercise I do I'm still not getting any lighter.  I always think I didn't eat a lot on any given day, but when you punch in all the items the numbers are pretty shocking.  For the 3 days I've been using the app I was able to keep under the caloric budget the app has set for me, mostly with the help of all the running and gym classes and walking I do, but I have been scared of putting anything in my mouth because I simply don't have the budget to eat anything.  It turns out that I'm not only poor financially, but also calorically.  I really can't afford to get as many take-out as I would like, but at the same time my body just cannot afford to take in the extra calories, without getting heavier that is.  It's a fun way to think about food intake, and in some ways makes you less likely to take in that extra sip of cream-and-sugar-filled ice coffee.

It may seem like a cruel way to live, especially given how much I enjoy eating.  But financially I've always lived according to my ability.  I'm not very good a saving a lot of money for some abstract thing in the long-term future, but I also don't get into debts just because I want something and it doesn't matter whether I could afford it or not.  And bringing this mentally into the way I eat may be a good thing.  I will be more encouraged if this way of life actually produce me results.

Third, and this is the downside: I can't stop obsessively syncing my Fitbit and checking and rechecking the app.  It's back enough that I can't stop fidgeting with my new phone, it's worse to unlock it every 3 minutes to see how much my walking as offset my food intake budget.  I have not been driven crazy by this yet, but I feel that I'm getting there.

I'm not trying to pimp this app on anyone, it's just that I've been kind of all over it for the past few days that I just need to write it down somewhere.  I really hope this will help me produce some real result in weight loss.

I'm still running semi-regularly, and taking gym classes, and occasionally doing yoga.  Summer is finally approaching New England and it's time to think about running outside (I know, I still haven't, I need the time to get over the self-consciousness).  I've not been very successful with running in summers, and hopefully this year there will be some improvement.

It wasn't that bad

So I actually managed to make it to my HIIT class today (yay).  The weather was so nice, and I felt like an idiot wearing my fleece jacket and my outer jacket as I walked toward the gym.

Today's stations were a bit weird.  There were 8 stations that you do 35 seconds each, but to get to each station you must run across the indoor track (which is 1/13 of a mile all the way around anyway) so there's a bit more cardio involved.  We didn't do any additional cardio after a whole round, and we didn't have to repeat each station 2x before resting.  But we ended up doing all stations 3 times before starting the last part, and by then I was just a bit bored by all the things we had to do.

But the part I felt really good about myself is that as we stopped each time to take water break, my first thought was "that wasn't too bad". Although, after the 2nd round I kind of felt like throwing up a bit.  I still felt like the wind was knocked out of me after we were done for the day but once I survive the class I really feel like none of it was that bad.  And I always came out stronger and feeling better about myself.

I'm putting running and badminton on hold for the week or so because starting last night I took up a 4-class R.A.D. course that teaches women how to avoid and get away from a potential sexual assailant.  Last night's class was mostly lecturing, but starting tomorrow we are going to have our classes in a gym and learn about different moves and punch stuff.  I learned last night how to make a proper solid fist, and how to stand defensively and offensively.  I look forward to punch stuff tomorrow, and the final simulation class during which I get to punch a padded and suited police officer.  Not because I want to take my aggression out by punching someone, but I've realized that of all the activities I've partaken so far none of it has anything to do with defeating another person.  I mean, you play badminton against another person but you sort of know where you stand in terms of your skills and levels. I know who I can beat in a game, who is way out of my league, and who could be a good match.  But with person-to-person combat, in a potentially life or death situation, when you really have to rely on your physical strength and your skills to get yourself out of a dangerous situation, is when it really shows how much all your self-improvement activities are worth.  I still run a 12-minute mile so I'm not gonna be a world class sprinter, and I still can't run a marathon so I'm not gonna win a golden metal for that, but that's not the point here. If I ever get myself into a situation in which I really have to be quick witted and take physical action to get myself out of trouble I sure hope I don't do so by being really flexible or knowing how to swing a badminton racket.  So, yea, real life skill is what I'm trying to learn here. And maybe some of my aggression will be taken out of me, but we will see.  I said last night during class that the reason why I'm taking it is that it seemed like fun, and honestly I still fully believe that.

It's all mental

Checked the date I wrote my last post.  Boy so much had happened since 3/23.  Most of it has nothing to do with exercise, but I did start my HIIT gym class again and right from the start I could feel that I was in much better shape than before. Still felt like I was going to die afterwards, which was the reason I've been sort of afraid of going to the last two classes.

Yesterday I did a short run after a week of hiatus.  I had my period and I was tired, etc., so I took the week off, but by the end of that week I got comfortable with not moving or having to go to the gym and I got lazy and complacent. My run yesterday was hurried and I didn't really set a goal.  Essentially I had about an hour before the gym closed and I wanted to squeeze a run in.  I wasn't really tired but I got really bored really quickly.  And I felt frustrated.  I think as I'm physically getting better I need to prepare mentally for each workout just as much. I need a specific goal, and a fall back goal in case it was a bad day.  I need to not be in a rush; if I had to go somewhere afterwards I need to remind myself that the next thing I'm going to do is not more important than my run.

I'm not sure where this post is going... But I just need to regroup.  I've not really done a real yoga class since... well, and I haven't played badminton since my tournament. I haven't gone to my gym class on a regular basis, and I'm busy with life and school work.  I'm still journaling but that has also become a slog, and I really need to regroup.  The weather is getting nicer and with decreasing lab work I have to do it's easier to want to stay home and work and that's not usually the most efficient way of working.  If I don't focus this can fall apart very quickly.

That extra scoop of coal

Had a really good run today, though it was a struggle getting there.  By 6pm or so today I was suddenly famished, and desperately wanted crispy chicken pad thai for dinner.  So before I left work today I sat and debated with myself for a long time as to what to do.  In the end I decided to go to the gym, run my 5K, and have thai takeout as a reward afterwards to balance out the calorie intake/output.

I was originally going to just run 25 minutes non-stop, and then do a 4-minute run/1-minute walk thing until I get to 40 minutes, which usually equates a 5K more or less.  But luckily, I caught half an episode of Castle that just happened to be playing on the treadmill I picked.  It was a season finale, during which Beckett was fighting some bad guy on the rooftop of a building that ended with the bad guy getting away and left Beckett hanging by the edge of the building and had to be saved by Ryan.  The actual fighting part happened about 20 minutes into my run, and even though I kind of knew what happened, having seen the episode before, I was nonetheless engrossed in the plot and I almost jilted when Beckett was ambushed at one point.  The episode cut to commercial right after Beckett rolled to the edge of the building and was hanging by her fingers, and I could feel my heart pumping faster because of the suspense.

And that's when it happened.  Just minutes before I started to breathe really heavily and audibly as I usually do around minute 20 and had to really put an effort and focus on my breathing and running, but as I watched the show and I got excited by the plot I found myself breathing normally again, as in, no loud, forceful breaths to artificially pump my heart faster to accommodate the demand of my body.  Watching the show seemed to give me an extra shot of adrenaline without me having to do any extra work.  The effect was not long lasting though, half way through the commercial break I found myself having to breathe really hard again.  I managed to keep running until I did 31 minutes, and ended up running the fastest mile, km, and 5K according to my Nike, earning a pre-recorded congratulatory message from Paula Radcliffe, which was kinda nice.  The data is false, by the way.  Nike has a tendency of overestimating my distance and I don't always recalibrate afterwards.  So now I have a 32-minute 5K record that's not real that I will have to beat later on.  Oh well, none of that really matters that much.

But that kind of got me thinking.  I used to be really afraid of watching anything suspenseful while running on the treadmill because I didn't want the plot of the show interfere with my breathing.  But now it seems that having my heart beat faster is actually a good thing and I might need to do it more often.  I also found that during the first 10 minutes or so I really need to concentrate on whatever I'm listening to keep myself from being bored, but this distraction is less necessary beyond the 10-minute mark, as running then requires more conscious effort.  Now it seems that around 20-minutes I need something exciting again to give my heart an extra push.  I'm not sure this is completely good for me, as people usually talk about increasing their lung capacity instead of heart rate when exercise, but before the capacity of my lungs are properly expanded I'll have to settle with faster heart pumping.

Afterwards as I was walking home I asked myself if I still wanted pad thai, and as usual my appetite gets curbed after exercising and my desire for thai food and fried chicken was not as intense as before.  But I still like the idea of very savory food and I couldn't think of any good alternative that I could make at home that would be comparable.  I set my mind on the salty ramen noodle in the end, as I was feeling for something soup-y, but I still could not abandon the idea of pad thai.  I literally was at a crossroad, having one way leading home and the other leading to the thai restaurant.  I ended up sitting on a very cold bench and played 2048 for 3 minutes before my butt got really cold and I just told myself to go home and have ramen and save the $13 I didn't really feel like spending anyway.  In the end it was a very successful day with eating, exercising, and money spending.

I've also start to take more walks.  On Monday I walked around the nearby pond twice (roughly 2 miles) because I didn't want to go running but I felt the need to exercise.  Today I walked around the pond once, since I really need the time to think about the outline of a review I needed to write and I was too full from lunch to sit in front of my desk comfortably.  I still haven't come up with a good outline but I did stop feeling bloated.  As spring hesitantly approaches there are more runners coming out.  On my walk today I saw 2 guys and a girls jogging (separately), and a group of young kids doing some sort of track workout.  I started mile 2 and all of a sudden decided that I didn't want to walk anymore but would like to go back and start making a tentative outline and assemble a reading list, so I literally stopped abruptly, turned around, and walked back to my office.  As I turned around I saw the group of young kids running their third and they must have thought that I was most weird.  Oh well.